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So this is my weird way of announcing that my wife is pregnant. Now, I know that everybody that reads this blog probably knows this already. You also probably know that we're having a girl. For the record, I was 50% sure that we were having a girl. Knowing the gender has really made this whole I'm-going-to-be-a-daddy-thing start to sink in. I'm glad that we don't have to refer to the baby as "it" anymore, but the word "daughter" is still having a little trouble rolling off my tongue. Daughter. My daughter. Holy crap, I'm going to have a daughter! Does that sound weird to anyone else? I mean seriously. I am going to have a daughter!!! I do have a confession to make however. Deep down in my inside parts I was kinda hoping for a girl. Don't ask me why because I couldn't really tell you. I know that it wasn't for any of the reasons that people gave me about why girls are better. In fact, I can think of several reasons why having a girl is not a good thing and about 3,000,000 of those reasons are boys. Now, I know that's a long time down the road and my wife does keep reminding me that she is giving birth to a baby girl not a teenage girl. Still, I can't help but worry. I guess it's my fatherly instincts kicking in. Yeah, that comment made me laugh too. But, I digress. I guess my reason for wanting a little girl is that I'm hoping that she turns out to be a daddy's girl. Not the snotty kind that makes her dad buy her whatever she wants, but the kind who thinks that her dad is some sort of super hero. The kind of girl who goes to her dad when something's wrong because, no matter how bad it is, he can somehow fix it. The kind of girl who knows, that no matter what anyone else says about her, her daddy will tell her how beautiful she is and mean it every time. The kind of girl who's proud of her father and does all that she can to make him proud of her. The kind of girl who knows that her daddy's a dork, but loves him inspite of it. Listen to me! She's not even born yet and already she's got me wrapped around her finger. Man, I am in trouble. Now, I know that a lot of this is going to fall on me and heavens knows that I'm going to do my best, but I really do hope that she's a daddy's girl.
I'm all about taking responsibility, but my lack of posting has not been entirely my fault. No, I'm afraid that some of the blame lies with Microsoft. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "there are a lot of things in this world that we can blame Microsoft for, but your failure to blog can't possibly be their fault." Well, ladies and gentlemen, have I got a tale for you. I have spent the past several weeks putting my computer back together after attempting to install Windows Vista Service Pack 1. Here's how it all went down. I had been noticing that for about a month or two there was a Windows update that had failed to install several times, so after a little time with Google and the performance of some computer voodoo on my part, I was finally able to get that pesky little bugger to install. Little did I know that that problematic update was trying to protect me from a beast that would become the bane of my existance. Well, at least my bane for a couple weeks. You see, Windows Vista Service Pack 1 (or as I now refer to it, the Monster) had been waiting for months for that one update to install before it would unleash its fury upon my beloved Sonya. Sonya is what I named my laptop. I know I'm a geek, but I also know that there are those out there who understand me. The Monster seemed to install just fine, and even let me restart and use my computer. This, however, was just the beginning of the Monster's diabolical plan to lull me into a false sense of security. The next day when I turned my laptop on, the Monster struck. I couldn't get into Windows at all. I kept getting a message saying that I did not have a valid copy of Windows installed. I tried every option, trick, utility, spell, incantation, and virgin sacrifice that I could think of, but to no avail. I knew that I needed to call upon one who had battled the Monster before or my Sonya would be lost to me forever. So with shaking hand I dialed the number for Dell support. I will not write the name of the computer warrior whom I contacted. Mostly because I don't think that I could spell it if you paid me, but it sounded like nfrhemvhekj4y7dfnmgh. No, I'm not kidding. Call me a dumb American, but if both the technician and I have to say "what?" or "excuse me?" every time the other person says something, that's down right sucky customer service. Oh well, another rant for another day. I must say that I was impressed with ol' what's-his-name's depth of knowledge of the situation, but several hundred "what?"s and "excuse me?"s later, my Sonya was still in the clutches of the Monster. Finally, after admitting defeat, the tech uttered the word that made me want to kick, scream, and do something really awful to a guy named Bill. Reformat. What happened was when the Monster tried to install it got into a fight with my anti-virus software. It must have lost, because it screamed, "Well, fine! I'm taking my ball and going home!" And with that the Monster corrupted my validation file. That's the little piece of Windows Vista that let's you, you know, use Vista. Without that file, Windows is pretty useless. Now, here's the funny part. When I asked He-who-cannot-be-named what I could do to keep this from happening again, he told me to do the following. Before installing any Service Pack (i.e. Monster) I need to uninstall my anti-virus software, backup all 120 GB's of my data, stop all non-Microsoft services, disable all start-up items, and then install the Service Pack. Raise your hand if you know how to do that. Bueller? Bueller? As it turns out, I do know how to do all of that, but it is as hard as it sounds. Luckily, I was able to remove all of my data before reformatting and as far as I can tell nothing was lost. So, now after several weeks, Sonya is feeling much better and she is nearly back to normal. I still can't help but marvel at the irony of this whole thing. Microsoft wanted to keep my computer from being ruined by installing a Service Pack that ruined my computer. I guess I'd call this whole experience annoying, but only because my wife doesn't like it when I use those more colorful adjectives. Curse you Monster. Next time, you will be mine.
My wife's grandfather passed away yesterday and I feel as though I should write something about it. Honestly, I don't really feel sad about him dying and I feel a little guilty because of that. I find that I feel more sad for my wife and her family and the pain that they're going through right now. I know that it was his time to go. He was in his 80's and had been sick for awhile. My wife and several members of her family were there when he died yesterday. She tells me that she was glad that she was there and that it was a really touching experience. Although, the whole time that she was telling me about it, all I could think about was what her grandmother must be going through. My wife's grandparents had been married for more than 55 years, and now her grandmother has to face the fact that she now has to spend her remaining years without her husband. I hope and pray that this doesn't happen to my wife. I hope that when the time comes, the Lord will take her before me so that she doesn't have to be alone. My faith tells me that my wife will see her grandfather again someday and this comes as a huge comfort to us all. It makes me wonder how people,who don't now about God's plan for us, cope with death. It must be so terrifying to them to think that this life is all we get and that after someone passes away, they're gone forever. I thank my Heavenly Father each and everyday that I now the truth about this life and for the comfort that that knowledge brings.
For as long as I can remember I've always had trouble concentrating. Ever since I was in elementary school, all that it has taken to distract me was something shiny. Now, I'm not talking about the usual short attention span that most children and several adults posses. I'm talking about the complete lack of an attention span altogether. Just ask my wife. In fact, as I'm writing this post, I have to listen to really loud music so that I'm not distracted by all conversations going on around me on the train. Since this is something that I've been fighting my whole life I have learned a couple of tricks to help keep myself on task. The reason why I bring this issue of concentration up is that lately at work there hasn't been a lot to do. I can work all day long so long as people are constantly coming to me and asking for help, but when I have to find something to do on my own, I suck. It's not that I don't want to work. On the contrary, I feel really good about myself when I've been busy all day long and I've gotten something done. I just find that when left to my own devices, I do not do well. I hate when the end of the day comes and I realize that I've done little or nothing all day long. I feel like I should just leave my time card blank for the day. Any way, today was another very slow day. I think that I got a total of 2 service calls all day long and neither of them took more than 15 minuted to take care of. However, despite the lack of activity, I found that I was able stay productive all day long by working on one of my many projects. It felt so satisfying at the end of the day know that today I had done my job and I had done it well. Now the trick is to be able recall that feeling of accomplishment the next time I find that I need a little self motivation. Hopefully with a lot of hard work, and an insane amount of luck, I'll be able to someday rid myself of this nasty inability to be self-motivated and have an attention span of my very own. How cool would that be?!
For some reason, I find that it's easier to blog when I'm waiting for something. Right now I'm waiting while my wife has surgery. It's nothing major so there's no need to worry and though I've told myself this time and time again, I can't help but wonder. I find myself thinking about how I would react if something were to go wrong. What would I do? How would I feel? How would I cope? It's at about this point that logic begins to kick in and I realize that there's no way that anything so terrible as losing my wife could result from this surgery. But, then accidents do happen. However, the chances are so slim that there's no need to worry. Then again, even though the chances are remote, there's still a chance. This has been my thought process for the past several days. Going back and forth, being worried then being reasonable. Needless to say, I'm looking forward for this all to be over so that I can get off of this emotional see-saw. In reality, the worst case scenario for this surgery isn't death, it's simply that it won't be successful. So, if that's the case, why can't I stop worrying? I must really care about my wife and truth be told, after all of the thinking that I've been doing, if I were to ever lose her, I wouldn't have any idea how I'd react or what I would do with myself. Sweetie, I love you. I will always be here for you and I pray that you'll do the same for me. I know that I can't ever say it enough, but I'll try ... I love you.
I hate habits. I think the reason for this is the fact that I have so many bad habits and so few good ones. At least, that's the way it seems to me. I also can't ever seem to develop the habits that I want to. Exercising for example. I'm really good at sticking to a workout schedule for about a week, but beyond that just seems impossible. It drives me crazy. The same goes with eating habits. Why is it that humans are creatures of habit? What's the reason? There must be some purpose behind it. And it's not just me. Nearly everyone I know is fighting the same battle against habits that I am, and no body seems to be making any head way. I think that the time has come for us to sit down and have a meeting with all the habits and choose the ones that we will keep and tell the rest of them to take a hike. However, since it seems rather unlikely that anything like this will ever happen, I'm going to need to come up with a new plan. I figure that right now I have twice as many bad habits as good ones. I know that I'm never going to be perfect in this life, so for now I think that I settle with having as many good habits as bad ones and once I get to that point I'll work on having twice as many good habits ans bad ones. Finally, if I'm not dead yet, I'll focus on getting rid of bad habits all together. So, I'm off to begin my Battle of the Habits right now by exercising. Wish me luck. Forward, march!
Ahh, the beginning. I like beginnings. I find that I experience much less stress when I need to make a first impression than when I need to live up to expectations. That being said, I start this blog knowing full well that every subsequent post from here on out will have expectations that it must meet. Oh well. I suppose that some things in life can't be helped. My purpose in writing this blog is to put down my thoughts and feelings for those who may find them interesting to read. I do not, however, intend to give many particulars about myself or my family. For those of you that know me, there is no need to relay to you information that information and for those who don't know me, specific information about me will not be necessary. I will tell you how ever, that I am male, married, a student, and work with computers. I will certainly try to be consistant in writing in writing, but I know myself too well to make any promises. Well, I feel that that is enough for now and that an impression has been made. Now, I'm feeling stressed.
